# 4 : Dear Mom, Love Ian

Ian is still working on composing good sentences, asking appropriate questions and being able to carry on a conversation.  Most kids have this ability during the early elementary years. This presents a challenging for us, as we do not always know what he is really thinking.

Lately when I am frustrated with him, I take a step back, put myself in his shoes and look at life through his eyes.

If Ian could share his thoughts and feelings, I think this is what he would want me to know:

Dear Mom,

I am your son.  Maybe not the son you may have expected, or a son like other sons your friends have, but I am YOURS.

I am a boy with an extra chromosome, and that makes me uniquely who I am.

I am 14, but many times I act four, but I can’t help it.

I am proud of how I look, even though I have Alopecia and am losing my hair. I do not understand why.

I am proud of how I can bike really fast, even though I still need training wheels.

I am proud to be on the cross country team, even though I am almost always the last kid to cross the finish line.

I am proud to be Grace’s little brother, even though I embarrass her sometimes.

I am proud of my reading and math progress, even though I am only at a 2nd grade level.

I love sports and being active, though I do not always understand the need to follow the rules.

I love being with other kids, though I sometimes act mean or selfish.  

I love doing things on my own, but sometimes you stop me because it is not right.

I love to talk with you. I know it bothers you because I ask the same questions, but I do not have that many.

I love school, though I wish I could go to class on my own, without an aide always watching me.

I love to have a sitter with me at home so you can work, but sometimes I just want to be alone.

I see what other kids my age can do and wonder why I am not allowed to.

I see kids hanging out at the playground with no parent, or going to sleepovers, but not me.

I see other kids with cell phones and freedom that I cannot experience yet.  That bugs me.

I see how other kids stay home alone, or go around the neighborhood by themselves, but I always have someone with me.

Some of these things make me sad and confused, but I do not know how to tell you, so sometimes I misbehave, or call you names or act like I don’t care.

I feel like any other 14 year old.  My body is changing and I am trying to be a ‘big’ boy.

Through my eyes I am no different, yet I know I am.

Right now, I need YOU.

I need you to let go a little bit and let me see what I can do.

I need you to worry less about what my future may bring, because I know I can do anything.

I need you to spend more time with me, even though I know you are tired of ‘playing’ with a little kid.

I need you to accept me. 

I need you to see me.

And I need you to love me exactly for who I am, because I DO!

Love, Ian

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